5 Pitfalls to Avoid When Facebook Stalking Your New Man

Social media is no joke — you can achieve a great deal of research and make incredible findings. And, by findings, we clearly mean stalking the man you just started dating. Does this sound like you?

I interviewed Daily News gossip columnist, star of MTV’s Downtown Girls, and current Star magazine contributor Shallon Lester, author of  EXES AND OHS: A Downtown Girl’s (Mostly Awkward) Tales of Love, Lust, Revenge, and a Little Facebook Stalking, which comes out this week. She had some great tips to make sure we find what we need — and don’t get caught!

1. Don’t learn more than you can keep secret: “A first date I once went on was a disaster because I kept finishing his sentences—I was incapable of hiding the fact that I already knew where he studied abroad and which NCAA team was his favorite,” says Lester. If you’ve got loose lips, don’t sink your own ship by stuffing yourself to the gills with information. Stop stalking after you verify that he’s not deformed/a pedophile.

2. Do NOT friend him first. You gotta let a man be a man and this means letting him chase you. Remember, the woman receives. Nature designed us this way. Let this incredibly vulgar image be a guiding metaphor for you.

3. Look, but don’t poke: Even if he does friend you first, that does not give you license to do any of the following: poke him, friend his grandma, write daily messages on his wall, or “like” his status updates.  He’ll realize that you’re trying to stake your public claim on him and he won’t like it. :

4. Don’t judge him by his pictures: “Unlike me, most dudes I date don’t spend hours posing in front of the mirror to figure out their perfect picture look,” says Lester. Nor do men have the advantage of Spanx, makeup, or friends who will tell them not to post that on Facebook because they look like a goblin. Cut him some slack and wait to evaluate his looks in person.

5. Do take an objective look at your own profile: “After every stalking session, I stalk myself. I try to analyze my own profile through his  eyes,” Lester advises. How else would I have caught glaring red flags like me being a fan of Sarah Palin (he won’t know that’s a joke) or listing Fall Out Boy as my favorite band (he won’t don’t know that isn’t a joke). Shore up your own page by deleting some info. Remember, he’s gotta WORK to get to know you.